Ranking: 2.51 / 89
A wealthy and very well dressed financial consultant arrived at his office to fill out his report for the company he was working for.
The dapper, extremely confident and very dignified gentleman left his Porsche with the parking attendant and entered wearing the building wearing his designer business suit. His shoes clicked along the polished floor as he headed for the elevator.
He picked up the paperwork, and strutted into his well-furnished office, put down his fifteen hundred dollar briefcase and sat down at his desk. He stared at the questions for five minutes, and shook his head in disbelief. He looked again, and his shoulders dropped.
"I know I have no choice, but this is an OUTRAGE!" he said out loud.
Then with a sigh of embarrassment, he reached down, untied and pulled his feet out of his highly polished $800 Brooks Brothers cap toe dress shoes and then peeled off his black silk business socks as well.
The now barefoot consultant then stuffed the socks in the shiny, expensive shoes and dropped them in the garbage can.
A few minutes later, he shook his head again with frustration, slowly untied his $150 Hermes silk necktie, plucked the matching pocket square out of his suit pocket, unfastened his monogrammed gold cufflinks, and slid his Rolex off his wrist. He threw them in to the garbage as well. His silver tiepin and his paisley braces followed.
A moment later, the consultant dropped his head into his hands and groaned. No longer confident and dignified, he looked around furtively.
Then he angrily shrugged and stood up. He then stripped off his $2,000 navy blue pinstriped Armani business suit and his starched white shirt, and folded them before stuffing them in the garbage as well.
The consultant finally sat down in his underwear and finished his work.
A colleague came in, looked around, saw the stripped consultant and his expensive clothes piled in the garbage and was stunned. “Why did you do this?” he asked in bewilderment.
The formerly well-dressed and impeccably groomed consultant angrily and wearily picked up the paperwork.
“Why didn’t you warn me about this? It says right here: Instructions MUST be followed exactly! ALL questions MUST be answered in brief!”
Thanks to: Jim Porter - USA.
rec.:Jan/19/2005 pub.:Apr/1/2005 sent:Aug/6/2006
Ranking: 2.93 / 44
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid, so he asked his collections manager to leave a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.” The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/14/2010 pub.:Apr/14/2010 sent:Jul/31/2011
Ranking: 2.62 / 63
Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category of ‘Home Improvement.’”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/18/2009 pub.:Sep/18/2009 sent:May/19/2010
Ranking: 2.70 / 46
Michael was selling a fine horse, and his friend Liam came over with the intention of buying it. "How much is it?" asked Liam, and Pat told him "500 dollars." Liam was startled, and said, "But sure, I could give only 25 dollars for even such a fine horse." "Done!" said Michael. Liam was surprised again. "How is it you came down so fast?" Michael smiled and said, "25 dollars is what he's worth, all right, but you're my friend, and I thought you'd like owning a 500 dollar horse."
Thanks to: Pat Conner - Kailua Kona - Hawaii - USA.