It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local paper were the main reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw and knocked around a bit, then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line: "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I don't open the store!"
Nicholas - Lowell - MA - USA.
rec.:Aug/8/2003 pub.:Aug/19/2003 sent:Sep/2/2003
3.78 / 78
The economy is so bad that:If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/9/2010 pub.:Feb/9/2010 sent:May/11/2010
3.47 / 101
A businessman, on his deathbed, called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.'"
rec.:Dec/11/1999 pub.:Dec/11/1999 sent:Dec/11/1999
3.74 / 69
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, ‘‘thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.''
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicants inquired.
''Simple,'' said the department manager, ''Your fellow applicant put down on question..5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'''
Nate Donahue - South Saint Paul - Minnesota - United States Minor Outlying Islands
rec.:Apr/23/2006 pub.:Apr/24/2006 sent:Jul/31/2014