The best part about computers is that they make very fast, specific mistakes.
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/31/2003 pub.:Oct/31/2003 sent:Sep/14/2004
2.44 / 27
If Restaurants Functioned Like ...
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support.
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day changes every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir, the soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5.00
Fly Feature. . . . . . . . . . . . . . no charge
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . .$2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00
Anonymous - Basingstoke - Hants - United Kingdom
rec.:May/21/1999 pub.:May/21/1999 sent:May/21/1999
1.87 / 71
First friend: "I am getting so tired of having to wade through so much Spam e-mail. Every time I sign on to get my e-mail I have to discard 20 Spam messages."
Second friend: "I used to be in exactly the same situation: 20 Spam messages every time I signed on. But I solved that. Now I only get ONE every time I sign on."
First friend: "That's terrific. How did you do that?"
Second friend: "I sign on 20 times more."
ETM - Washington - DC - USA.
rec.:Mar/30/2006 pub.:Apr/6/2006 sent:May/5/2006
1.96 / 54
A software expert claims: “My software never has bugs -- it just develops random features.”
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/31/2003 pub.:Oct/31/2003 sent:May/26/2004