Ranking: 2.97 / 142
You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When...
· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened.
· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
· All of your friends have an @ in their names.
· Your dog has its own home page.
· You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.
· You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
· You get a new suit that says, "This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher."
· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg.
· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
Thanks to: Arsen Vladimirsky - Chicago - IL - USA.
rec.:Feb/25/2000 pub.:Feb/25/2000 sent:Jan/17/2013
Ranking: 2.76 / 199
New customer to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens'.
Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?
Customer: 'Tried but nothing”
Tech Support: “What key did you hit?
After a moment and some chick ling sound the customer replied: Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.
Thanks to: Said al-Mughairy - Al-Ansab - Muscat - Oman
rec.:May/4/2002 pub.:Jun/29/2002 sent:Jul/29/2014
Ranking: 3.48 / 52
Apple Inc. has developed a new high tech toilet. The details are not yet clear, but the company is torn between two names for the new device: Either the iPood, or the iPeed.
Thanks to: Barry Foster - Indianapolis - IN - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2013 pub.:Jul/10/2013 sent:Sep/28/2013
Ranking: 3.70 / 30
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>
Thanks to: Bill Little
rec.:Feb/13/2001 pub.:Feb/13/2001 sent:Feb/13/2001