Category: Computer Jokes

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Ranking: 2.97 / 142
You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When... 
· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. 
· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. 
· All of your friends have an @ in their names. 
· Your dog has its own home page. 
· You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem. 
· You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 
· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. 
· You get a new suit that says, "This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher." 
· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg. 
· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. 
Thanks to: Arsen Vladimirsky - Chicago - IL - USA.
rec.:Feb/25/2000    pub.:Feb/25/2000    sent:Jan/17/2013

Ranking: 2.76 / 199
New customer to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens'.
Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?
Customer: 'Tried but nothing”
Tech Support: “What key did you hit?
After a moment and some chick ling sound the customer replied: Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.
Thanks to: Said al-Mughairy - Al-Ansab - Muscat - Oman
rec.:May/4/2002    pub.:Jun/29/2002    sent:Jul/29/2014

Ranking: 3.48 / 52
Apple Inc. has developed a new high tech toilet. The details are not yet clear, but the company is torn between two names for the new device: Either the iPood, or the iPeed.
Thanks to: Barry Foster - Indianapolis - IN - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2013    pub.:Jul/10/2013    sent:Sep/28/2013

Ranking: 3.70 / 30
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>
Thanks to: Bill Little
rec.:Feb/13/2001    pub.:Feb/13/2001    sent:Feb/13/2001

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