Ranking: 2.90 / 41
If Microsoft operated Restaurants Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Thanks to: Ogden Pence
rec.:Apr/9/2001 pub.:Apr/9/2001 sent:Apr/9/2001
Ranking: 2.77 / 47
A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: "I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities."
Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin."
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
Ranking: 2.48 / 71
As Computer Tech I sometimes help clients over the phone. Here is a recent phone dialogue I had with one of my customers.
Tech: Workshops can I help.
Customer: My dog is not barking, how can I make it bark.
Tech: I am sorry mam but this is not SPCA
Customer: I know that but how can I make the dog on my computer bark.
Tech: Do you mean a dog in a computer game or something?
Customer: I mean a small dog that comes on when I type in Microsoft Word.
Tech: Are your speakers on?
Tech: Turn on your speakers and you will hear your dog barking when it barks
Customer: Ooooh why didn’t I figure that, thanks so much
Thanks to: Never Boterere - Mutare - Zimbabwe
rec.:Apr/15/2005 pub.:Apr/18/2005 sent:May/1/2005
Ranking: 2.61 / 51
You Might be an Internet Hobo if:
You spend more time online trying to find a way of making money than actually making money.
You have more than one degree from an online university.
Your little black book is full of usernames and passwords.
Your space is My-space.
You think a vacation is Google’s earth.
Your 15 minutes of fame is on You-tube.
Road rage means a dial up connection.
You hear your kids say "the snail man's here".
Thanks to: William W. Nelson - Georgetown - SC - USA.
rec.:Feb/26/2008 pub.:Mar/12/2008 sent:Jan/20/2009