Category: Computer Jokes

A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: "I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities."
Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin."

As Computer Tech I sometimes help clients over the phone. Here is a recent phone dialogue I had with one of my customers.

Tech: Workshops can I help.
Customer: My dog is not barking, how can I make it bark.
Tech: I am sorry mam but this is not SPCA
Customer: I know that but how can I make the dog on my computer bark.
Tech: Do you mean a dog in a computer game or something?
Customer: I mean a small dog that comes on when I type in Microsoft Word.
Tech: Are your speakers on?
Customer: No
Tech: Turn on your speakers and you will hear your dog barking when it barks
Customer: Ooooh why didn’t I figure that, thanks so much

You Might be an Internet Hobo if:
You spend more time online trying to find a way of making money than actually making money.
You have more than one degree from an online university.
Your little black book is full of usernames and passwords.
Your space is My-space.
You think a vacation is Google’s earth.
Your 15 minutes of fame is on You-tube.
Road rage means a dial up connection.
You hear your kids say "the snail man's here".

Q: An electric train is travaling South and the wind is blowing East. Which way is the smoke blowing?

A: There is no smoke it's an electric train.