If Microsoft operated Restaurants Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
#994
Thanks to:
Ogden Pence
rec.:Apr/9/2001 pub.:Apr/9/2001 sent:Apr/9/2001
Ranking:
2.15 / 60
The owner of a small computer store was getting tired of fixing the exact same problem over and over on computers for people...one day 3 customers came in at the same time. He looked at them all and said. Everyone one of your computers gave me this error message "Error you have a syntax IDtenT error.and asked them to right it down. All of them got out their pens and wrote IDtenT error, he smiled then told them. No that's not how you write it is the number "10". So they all wrote it again...ID10T error
#4849
Thanks to:
QuietEmpress - Ky - USA.
rec.:Jun/1/2002 pub.:Aug/8/2002
Ranking:
2.65 / 26
Signs you've had too much of the '90s Part I
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played patience with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask, "Do you fancy going down the pub?" and they reply, "Yeah, give me five minutes".
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.
7. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
8. You consider regular mail painfully slow or call it "snail mail".
9. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
10. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
11. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
12. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a 0 to get an outside line.
13. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
14. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
15. Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.
16. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.
17. You learn about your redundancy on the 6 o'clock news.
18. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your best jokes.
19. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
20. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
#539
Thanks to:
Laura Riedlinger
rec.:Dec/27/1999 pub.:Dec/27/1999 sent:Dec/27/1999
Ranking:
2.27 / 44
Q. Why did the spider cross the computer keyboard?
A. To get on the World Wide Web.
#7371
Thanks to:
Gemma carl - sheffield - south yourk shire - United Kingdom
rec.:Jan/13/2003 pub.:May/7/2003