Category: Airplane Jokes



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Ranking: 3.35 / 178
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them. Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door. The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!".
"Of course I heard you", the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!"
#22302    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/25/2011    pub.:Feb/29/2012    sent:Apr/28/2012


Ranking: 3.33 / 123
A jet ran into some turbulent weather. To keep the passengers calm the flight attendants brought out the beverage carts. “I’d like a soda,” said a passenger in the first row. Moving along, the attendant asked the man behind her if he would like something. “Yes, I would,” he replied. “Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!”
#16701    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/17/2006    pub.:Apr/17/2006    sent:Dec/15/2006


Ranking: 3.38 / 112
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the
flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?'
Greg asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

#19973    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/23/2009    pub.:Mar/23/2009    sent:Jul/23/2009


Ranking: 3.33 / 111
A small plane was carrying three passengers over a mountain range -- an old man, his grandson, and an eminent scientist.

Suddenly, the pilot burst into the cabin, saying 'The engines have all failed! Grab a parachute and jump from the plane!' With this, the pilot opened the cabin door and leapt out with his parachute.

To their dismay, the 3 passengers discovered only 2 parachutes were left in the cabin!

The Eminent Scientist took a pack, saying 'I'm sorry you two, but I won a Nobel Prize, I am the head of several intellectual Think Tanks -- honestly, I'm worth more to society than either of you'. The Eminent Scientist leapt from the plane.

The Old Man turned to his grandson and said, 'My dear boy, take the last parachute. I've had a good life. Yours has just begun.'

'Don't worry, Grandpa' said the young boy, 'that guy just jumped out the plane with my backpack.'
#19336    
Thanks to: Mark Dunphy - USA.
rec.:Aug/5/2008    pub.:Aug/7/2008    sent:Aug/16/2008


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