Category: Doctors Jokes



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Ranking: 3.10 / 120
A man goes to the doctors and asks why he's been feeling ill. The doctor examines him and replies "I'm sorry to tell you, you've got the disease known as Yellow 24." "What's that?” the man asks. "It means your internal organs have started turning yellow - you've got 24 hours to live".
The man goes home and tells his wife the bad news. His wife says "Well, will you come to bingo with me tonight then? Otherwise you'll never be able to." The man agrees so he and his wife go to the bingo. He finds that he's won the one-line and £10. He begins to think this isn't such a bad day after all. Twenty minutes later, he's won the full house and £150. He enters the lucky draw, worth £500, and wins that too. The bingo caller calls him up on stage.
He says "I don't believe it, mate. You've won three competitions in a total of £660 in one night. You must be the luckiest man on the earth!"
The man says "Well, no, I'm not. I've got Yellow 24."
The bingo caller looks down at the piece of paper he's holding and starts clapping. "I don't believe it; he's won the raffle as well!"
#19704    
Thanks to: Hannah and Em - Bedford - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/30/2008    pub.:Dec/19/2008    sent:Mar/6/2013


Ranking: 2.92 / 157
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, “What is wrong with me?
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”
#11557    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/31/2003    pub.:Oct/31/2003    sent:Aug/21/2013


Ranking: 3.33 / 84
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him an exam and found nothing physically wrong with him. “Listen,” the doctor said, “if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you need to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.”
“It’s true,” said the patient, “but my wife refuses to sleep alone.”
#16804    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/10/2006    pub.:May/10/2006    sent:Sep/26/2012


Ranking: 2.72 / 229
Doctor: What’s wrong with your bother?
Boy: He thinks he is a chicken.
Doctor: really? How long has this been going on?
Boy: Five years.
Doctor: Five years!
Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs.
#11555    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/31/2003    pub.:Oct/31/2003    sent:Aug/4/2013


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