Category: Doctors Jokes



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Ranking: 2.53 / 49
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says."Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor."
10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately."10...9...8...7..."
#104    
Thanks to: Paulina A. Candia - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Jul/24/1998    pub.:Jul/24/1998    sent:Jul/24/1998


Ranking: 2.44 / 55
After many sessions the psychiatrist says to his patient: Congratulations, Sir, you are cured. The patient says: Some cure. Before I was Alexander the Great. Now I’m nobody.
#15880    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/11/2005    pub.:Oct/11/2005    sent:Jan/4/2006


Ranking: 2.11 / 95
A man came to the emergency room with a series of long, jagged tear marks on his cheek and neck, as though he had been clawed by some large animal.
"What happened to you?" asked the doctor who was examining him.
"Chain saw accident," the man replied.
"Well, you're lucky," the doctor said; "I've seen worse."
"It wasn't turned on," the man replied.
#17925    
Thanks to: K Meyer - Westfield - NC - USA.
rec.:Apr/19/2007    pub.:Apr/30/2007    sent:May/10/2007


Ranking: 2.45 / 49
A man visits his doctor and says, doctor, I keep seeing green Martians before my eyes.
The doctor asks have you seen a psychiatrist?
The patient says, "No Only green Martians!"
#12790    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/10/2004    pub.:Feb/10/2004    sent:Aug/10/2004


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