Category: Doctors Jokes

A man consults a therapist and states, “Doc, I’m suicidal. What should I do?”
The doctor replies, “Pay in advance.”

Things Not to Hear During Surgery,Part I I Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off..
What's this doing here?
I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

A doctor calls his patient and says; the check you gave me for my bill came back.
The patient replied: So did my arthritis!

Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, “I don’t like the way he looks.” “Neither do I,” she said. “But he’s handy around the house.”