Category: Elderly Jokes



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Ranking: 3.39 / 96
A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be. A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane!"
#18198    
Thanks to: Y Tinu - USA.
rec.:Jul/11/2007    pub.:Oct/3/2007    sent:Aug/28/2009


Ranking: 3.24 / 118
This police officer sees an old lady driving and knitting at the same time so after driving next to her for awhile he yells to her,"PULLOVER". She replies,"No a pair of socks".
#2450    
Thanks to: Andrea - Colorado - USA.
rec.:Dec/18/2001    pub.:Dec/27/2001    sent:Apr/21/2013


Ranking: 2.95 / 182
Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch."
"Oh dear, I'm sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?" 
"Opened a can of peas instead."
#584    
Thanks to: Simple Sentiments - Florida - USA.
rec.:Feb/13/2000    pub.:Feb/13/2000    sent:Feb/25/2002


Ranking: 3.17 / 126
Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys. The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.
His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''
Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest.''
#169    
Thanks to: Kim Rosel - USA.
rec.:Nov/3/1998    pub.:Nov/3/1998    sent:Jun/24/2012


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