Category: Elderly Jokes

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Ranking: 3.33 / 108
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant and as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat."
#13393    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/11/2004    pub.:May/11/2004    sent:Jul/25/2009


Ranking: 2.97 / 190
Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch."
"Oh dear, I'm sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?" 
"Opened a can of peas instead."
#584    
Thanks to: Simple Sentiments - Florida - USA.
rec.:Feb/13/2000    pub.:Feb/13/2000    sent:Apr/24/2015


Ranking: 3.91 / 54
At a party an elderly lady was bemoaning the behavior of the youth of today.
“Look at the girl over there,” she complained. “I don’t know what young girls are coming to! She’s wearing boy’s jeans, a boy’s shirt, and that haircut is so boyish – you wouldn’t know she was a girl at all, would you?”
“Well, as it happens, I would,” came the reply, “because she is my daughter.”
“Oh dear,” said the old lady embarrassed, “I’m so sorry – I didn’t know you were her father.”
“I’m not, I’m her mother.”
#8885    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/7/2003    pub.:Apr/7/2003


Ranking: 3.25 / 119
This police officer sees an old lady driving and knitting at the same time so after driving next to her for awhile he yells to her,"PULLOVER". She replies,"No a pair of socks".
#2450    
Thanks to: Andrea - Colorado - USA.
rec.:Dec/18/2001    pub.:Dec/27/2001    sent:Apr/21/2013


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