Category: Elderly Jokes



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Ranking: 3.19 / 116
An elderly couple is getting ready for bed. She says Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house." He says, “I’ll go get some." She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry." She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget." He says, “I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes. Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH". She says,” I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."
#11777    
Thanks to: katy - USA.
rec.:Nov/17/2003    pub.:Dec/10/2003    sent:Oct/22/2013


Ranking: 3.18 / 115
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.”
“Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.”
“It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I open a drawer or a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”

#4076    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/13/2002    pub.:Apr/13/2002    sent:Aug/2/2013


Ranking: 3.75 / 56
Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the care home one day when Tim turned to the other and said "John I'm really feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?
John replied "I feel just like a new born babe"
Tim looked at him startled "A New Born babe really?"
"Yep, I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
#22908    
Thanks to: Anne - Canada
rec.:Jun/26/2012    pub.:May/28/2013    sent:Jul/24/2013


Ranking: 2.95 / 166
“Doc!” the man yells. I’ve lost my memory!”
“Calm down, sir. When did this happen.”
The man looked at him. “When did what happen?”
#10328    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003    pub.:Jul/1/2003    sent:Mar/28/2013


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