Category: Elderly Jokes



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Ranking: 3.19 / 116
An elderly couple is getting ready for bed. She says Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house." He says, “I’ll go get some." She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry." She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget." He says, “I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes. Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH". She says,” I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."
#11777    
Thanks to: katy - USA.
rec.:Nov/17/2003    pub.:Dec/10/2003    sent:Oct/22/2013


Ranking: 3.18 / 115
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.”
“Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.”
“It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I open a drawer or a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”

#4076    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/13/2002    pub.:Apr/13/2002    sent:Aug/2/2013


Ranking: 2.95 / 166
“Doc!” the man yells. I’ve lost my memory!”
“Calm down, sir. When did this happen.”
The man looked at him. “When did what happen?”
#10328    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003    pub.:Jul/1/2003    sent:Mar/28/2013


Ranking: 3.29 / 98
Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through
Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them
through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was
used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were
grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture
when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in
America with your old goats?' A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send
us on bus tours!
#20470    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/18/2009    pub.:Sep/18/2009    sent:Dec/9/2012


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