Category: Elderly Jokes

The old man approached a young stranger in the post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this postcard for me?" The man gladly did so, and then offered to write a short note for the old fellow. Finally the stranger asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" The old man thought a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you add, Please excuse the sloppy handwriting."

Two elderly couples were enjoying a friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" 
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." 
"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" 
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" 
"You mean a rose?" 
"Yes, that's it!" 
He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?" 

An elderly couple is getting ready for bed. She says Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house." He says, “I’ll go get some." She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry." She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget." He says, “I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes. Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH". She says,” I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist” Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure
he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for
the jewelry."