Category: Elderly Jokes

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Ranking: 2.71 / 45
An elderly man who denies he is being forgetful was asked by his wife to get a cup of coffee at midnight. "Oh sure my dear, and what else?" "That's it honey, the last time you got me a coffee, you forgot to put sugar and cream," the old wife remarked. "That's not true, for as long as I can remember, I do not forget anything,” boasts the grandpa. "OK sweetheart, in that case, please get me some cookies too," was the sweet reply of grandma. "As you wish my dear," says the hubby, then he adds, "by the way, how do I go to the kitchen?"
Thanks to: edwin ventura - Philippines
rec.:Jun/30/2005    pub.:Jul/8/2005    sent:Aug/28/2005

Ranking: 2.63 / 48
There was a young woman who was very much interested in marrying this wealthy
Old gentleman.
After he proposed, she suggested, “we might even have some children!”
The old gentleman replied, “Oh, no, my parents won’t let me.”
“What do you mean?” asked the young woman
“Who are your parents?” He replied, “Mother Nature and Father time.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/22/2003    pub.:Jan/22/2003

Ranking: 2.45 / 60
The frontier preacher was giving the traditional sermon on sin. "We should take all the whiskey and dump it in the river!" Back in the back of the church, a little old lady with a bonnet on stood up and shouted, "Amen, Amen!" and sat back down. The preacher smiled and continued, "And we should take all the sinful lust and dump it in the river!" The little old lady jumped up and shouted, "Amen, Amen, Amen!” then sat back down. The preacher excitedly hollered, "And we should take all of the snuff in this world and dump it in the river!" And the little old lady stood up and said, "Now you've stopped preaching and started meddling’!"
Thanks to: Leota - Burlington - Kansas - USA.
rec.:Jan/7/2003    pub.:Apr/16/2003

Ranking: 2.32 / 76
Matilda and Rosie were chatting one day. Matilda had recently moved to a retirement home. Rosie asked, “Matilda, how do like your new home?”
“Oh, I love it,” answered Matilda. “there’s so much to do, and no burdens of cooking a cleaning.” “I’m not sure I’d like it,” Rosie said. “I understand there are hardly any men at these places.”
“Oh, indeed there are,” said Matilda. “There’s Will Power, and Charlie Horse, and (whispering) you can even go to bed with Arthur It is. And, if you don’t like them, there’s Ben Gay.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/13/2002    pub.:Apr/13/2002

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