Category: Entertainment Jokes



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Ranking: 2.59 / 49
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, and I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
#7294    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/8/2003    pub.:Jan/8/2003


Ranking: 2.41 / 61
A sadist and a masochist were locked in a room together.
In a very short while the masochist began to freak out, begging "Hit me, hit me!” To which the sadist replied, “No"
#19056    
Thanks to: Hickey - Ireland
rec.:Apr/24/2008    pub.:May/8/2008    sent:Sep/1/2008


Ranking: 2.33 / 70
A frantic woman had dialed 911.
“Police, fire, or ambulance?” asked the operator.
“I want a vet!” demanded the panic-stricken woman.
“A vet?” said the operator in surprise.
“What for?”
“To open by bulldog’s jaws.”
“But why did you call 911?”
“There’s a burglar in them.”

#13286    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2004    pub.:Apr/26/2004    sent:Jan/3/2007


Ranking: 2.64 / 42
A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.
“I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car,” he said. “That’s right, sir,” the salesman answered. “We will replace anything that breaks.”
“Fine, I need a new garage door.”
#19995    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/30/2009    pub.:Mar/30/2009    sent:Sep/10/2009


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