Category: Entertainment Jokes

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student aide, Sam found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need Sam’s help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let Sam wheel him to the elevator. On the way down Sam asked him if his wife was meeting him. I don’t know,” he said. “She is till upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally, conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earring.”
“Don’t make a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?” “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”

Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
He said; “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.”
When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor told him. “You did this just by following my instructions?”
The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. “I’ll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean.”
“No,” replied Mr. Johnson, “from skipping.”

A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After a while, a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello, luv, how's about us going for a walk together?"
"How dare you," retorted the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"
Well then," said the tramp, "what are you doing in my bed?"