Category: Entertainment Jokes



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Ranking: 2.63 / 571
Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an umbrella. The one with the car door said to the guy with the umbrella, "Why are you carrying that umbrella around, it isn't going to rain in the desert?" To which the guy with the umbrella replies, "Yeah”, but it keeps me out of the sun! By the way, why are you carrying around that car door, you don’t even have a car to go with it” The guy with the car door says, "yeah, well at least if I get too hot from the sun I can just roll down the window!"
#1123    
Thanks to: Sweetness - Ontario - Canada
rec.:Aug/2/2001    pub.:Aug/16/2001    sent:Nov/1/2012


Ranking: 3.47 / 117
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally, conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earring.”
“Don’t make a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?” “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
#20375    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/12/2009    pub.:Aug/12/2009    sent:Aug/5/2011


Ranking: 3.32 / 137
A skydiver is enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute, he pulls the ripcord, but nothing happens. “No problem,” he says to himself, “I still have my emergency chute.” So he pulls the ripcord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing happens. Now the man begins to panic. “What am I going to do?” He thinks. “I’m a goner.”
Just then, he sees a man flying up from the earth toward him. He can’t figure out where this man is coming from or what he’s doing, but he says to himself, “I hope he can help me. If he can’t, then I’m in real trouble.” When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts, “Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?”
The man coming up cups his hands and yells back, “No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?”
#15225    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/18/2005    pub.:May/18/2005    sent:Mar/8/2012


Ranking: 3.53 / 102

Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
He said; “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.”
When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor told him. “You did this just by following my instructions?”
The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. “I’ll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean.”
“No,” replied Mr. Johnson, “from skipping.”
#15571    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/28/2005    pub.:Jul/28/2005    sent:Jan/25/2006


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