Category: Family Jokes

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Ranking: 3.19 / 47
When a man with nine children was asked how he handled illness among his children, he said, "When the first born coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When the last one swallowed a quarter, I told him that it was coming out of his allowance!"
Thanks to: Jim Stull - Monroeville - Pennsylvania - USA.
rec.:Nov/9/2001    pub.:Dec/8/2001

Ranking: 2.81 / 67
Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university. She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/26/2004    pub.:May/26/2004    sent:Aug/19/2006

Ranking: 2.84 / 62
A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.
“What’s the matter, son,” asked his mother.
“Aw, gee,” said the boy, “it’s my marks. They’re all wet.”
“What do you mean, “all wet”?”
“I mean,” he replied, “below C-level.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/4/2002    pub.:Apr/4/2002

Ranking: 2.98 / 50

Damien was being severely scolded by his father for fighting. "Now, Damien" said his angry father, "This will not do! You must learn that you can't have everything you want in this life. There must always be give and take."
"But there was Dad!" protested the aggressive youngster. "I gave him a black eye and took the apple!"

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Nov/14/2002    pub.:Nov/14/2002

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