Category: Family Jokes



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Ranking: 2.90 / 192
Two women ran into the court of King Solomon, fighting. "My daughter was to marry this man, but this woman claims that the man was to marry HER daughter!" one of them yelled. "There is a simple solution," said the King. "I shall cut the man in two and each of your daughters can have a piece." "Fine by me!" said the first woman. "No, don't, I would rather let the other girl marry him than that!" cried the second. The King didn't hesitate for a minute. "Fine." he said. "The first woman my have him." "What?" protested the other? "She wanted him cut in two!" "Indeed." said the king. "She shows the true spirit of a mother-in-law!"
#2267    
Thanks to: Leona - Coleraine - United Kingdom
rec.:Dec/3/2001    pub.:Dec/9/2001    sent:Apr/25/2003


Ranking: 2.85 / 207
One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black, had a frog hop onto her desk and say, "I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan." Patty looked incredulously at the frog and said, "I'm sorry, we don't loan money to frogs." To which the frog replied, "I have collateral," as he handed her a small ceramic trinket. Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, "I don't know. I'll have to talk to the bank manager."

She walked back to the manager's office and said, "There is a frog out here, asking for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral." The bank manager picked up the trinket and looked at it carefully. Then smiling he turned to Patty and said, "Why it's a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan."

#17984    
Thanks to: Kristen - USA.
rec.:May/5/2007    pub.:May/15/2007    sent:Apr/11/2014


Ranking: 3.27 / 103
A brilliant magician was performing on an ocean liner. But every time he did a trick, a talking cat in the audience would scream, "It's a trick. It's not magic. You're a big phony!"
Then one night during a storm, the ship sank while the magician was performing. And who should end up in the same lifeboat together, all alone, but the talking cat and the magician! For three days, they glared at each other, neither one saying a word to the other. Finally the cat sighed and said, "All right, smart-aleck. You and your darn tricks. What did you do with the ship?"
#1878    
Thanks to: chou hogean - wawa - ontario - Canada
rec.:Oct/30/2001    pub.:Dec/9/2001    sent:Apr/29/2013


Ranking: 2.93 / 171
A family was having dinner and the little boy said,"Dad I don't like the
holes in the cheese!" Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the
side of the plate.
#1381    
Thanks to: Marie - Wichita - KS - USA.
rec.:Sep/10/2001    pub.:Sep/23/2001    sent:Apr/13/2010


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