Category: Farmer Jokes

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Ranking: 3.40 / 48
Sandy McTavish had an old friend, Jock Murdock, who was quite ill. Sandy came to visit and Jock said, "Sandy, I've only a short time to live, I'm on my death bed lad." Sandy knew that and in a non-committal way he said, "Aye, that a' know old friend." Jock turned to Sandy and said, "Sandy, de ye nay ken that old bottle of Scotch that I hae been saving ah these years." Sandy, an aficionado, was immediately attentive and said, "Aye Jock, that I do." Jock said, "ye are guid friend and when I've passed I would have yee pour that Scotch on ma grave." Sandy was profoundly moved for his own reasons. After considering Jocks request for an agonizing period he brightened, turned to Jock. "Aye- aye Jock I'll de that for an old friend, but ye wouldna mind if I put it through my kidneys first." 
Thanks to: Lauren Elizabeth - Fayetteville - AR
rec.:Apr/5/2000    pub.:Apr/5/2000    sent:Apr/5/2000

Ranking: 3.23 / 52
The farmer met his kin at the railroad station. “Uncle, I’m mighty glad to see you, he greeted. “That crate of chickens you sent me bust open just as I was going to take ‘em out and they ran all over the place. I chase ‘em through my neighbor’s yard and only got back eleven.” “You did okay,” said uncle. “I only sent you six.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/20/2010    pub.:Apr/20/2010    sent:Jun/27/2010

Ranking: 2.82 / 83
It was a disastrous year for the farmers. The snow fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand. “It must have been terrible,” said the government man to a farmer. “All that snow.” “Could have been worse,” calmly answered the farmer. “My neighbor had more snow than me.” “How’s that?” asked the government man.
“More land,” replied the farmer.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/4/2009    pub.:Dec/4/2009    sent:May/4/2010

Ranking: 2.90 / 67
A tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry.
“Don’t be scared, Susan,” her husband said. “We are not hurt.”
Susan continued to cry. “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs. “I’m happy ‘cause this is the first time in 15 years we’ve been out together.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/28/2005    pub.:Jun/28/2005    sent:Oct/12/2005

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