Category: Idiots Jokes

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Ranking: 2.25 / 51
Mr. Smith and his son Rick were called to Mrs. Liventhal's classroom.
"Mr. Smith," said the teacher, "I asked Rick 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!"
"Well, teacher," said Smith, "if my kid said he didn't do it -- he didn't do it!"
Father and son left the school, and on their way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?"
Thanks to: Yolanda Ortiz.
rec.:Sep/3/1998    pub.:Sep/3/1998    sent:Sep/3/1998

Ranking: 2.21 / 53
I’m going to buy a farm two miles long and half inch wide said Jed.
What, would you grow on a farm that size, asked Roger.
Spaghetti, said Jed.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/30/2009    pub.:Mar/30/2009    sent:Jul/1/2010

Ranking: 1.96 / 82
Two New Yorkers are in Las Vegas gambling, and they win two hundred thousand dollars. One man says to the other, “come on let’s go out and paint the town!” “You know.” Says his friend, “I think this money is New York money. This dough is earmarked for the Big Apple, and I think we should go back there to spend it.” “You’re right,” says the first man. “Let’s go out to the airport right now and catch the first plane back.” “Forget the airport,” says the friend, “let’s just take a limo.” “Forget the limo,” says the first man, and then he yells, “taxi!” A cab pulls up in front of the two men. The friend opens the door and is about to get in when the first man says to him, “Say, where in New York do you live?” “Fifty-ninth Street,” says the friend. The first man then says, “In that case, I had better get in first because I’m getting out at forty-third.”

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/11/2006    pub.:Apr/11/2006    sent:Nov/5/2006

Ranking: 2.05 / 65
Two guys John and Dick were just about to go to sleep when they realized the gate to their car garage was not yet closed. Each one wanted the other to go and close it. Dick came with a solution he said, I will ask you a question if you answer it properly you will close the gate otherwise I will close it. Bright idea! Said John, go ahead and ask. Well said the Dick, There is small domestic animal, it spends most of its time in the house and sometimes it roams in the garden, it catches mice and cries mew, mew, I mean meow, meow. What is it? Well, that must be a fish answered John. After thinking for moment Dick exclaimed Oh! You got it!!
Thanks to: Said bin Sultan - Al-Ansab - Muscat - Oman
rec.:Jan/27/2002    pub.:Mar/6/2002

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