Category: Idiots Jokes

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Ranking: 2.19 / 62
Sam had just proposed marriage to the love of his life and she had turned him down. If you dont marry me immediately, he threatened, Ill go to the lake, cut a hole in the ice, dive in and drown myself.
Why this is May. The ice wont cover the lake for eight months!
O.K., then Ill wait.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Nov/6/2009    pub.:Nov/6/2009    sent:Feb/10/2011

Ranking: 2.23 / 52
Mr. Smith and his son Rick were called to Mrs. Liventhal's classroom.
"Mr. Smith," said the teacher, "I asked Rick 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!"
"Well, teacher," said Smith, "if my kid said he didn't do it -- he didn't do it!"
Father and son left the school, and on their way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?"
Thanks to: Yolanda Ortiz.
rec.:Sep/3/1998    pub.:Sep/3/1998    sent:Sep/3/1998

Ranking: 2.19 / 54
Im going to buy a farm two miles long and half inch wide said Jed.
What, would you grow on a farm that size, asked Roger.
Spaghetti, said Jed.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/30/2009    pub.:Mar/30/2009    sent:Jul/1/2010

Ranking: 2.26 / 47
A guy wants to become a magician so he goes out and buys a magician book. Later he gathers his family around the living room for his first trick. Reading his new book he reaches into a bag and pulls out a hammer and to the amazement of his family hits himself in the head with it. He's unconscious and spends a month in the hospital. Suddenly a nurse notices his eye lids flicker. She calls the family in and they gather around his bed. Just then he sits up in bed awake and says..."TA-DAA"
Thanks to: Dennis Norton - Lincoln - Nebraska - USA.
rec.:Nov/26/2013    pub.:Nov/29/2013    sent:Jan/11/2015

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