Ranking: 2.84 / 217
A ventriloquist stops to entertain some people in a small town. He's going through his usual stupid George W. jokes, when George W. himself walks up.
"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating George W. jokes!" He says. "What makes you think you can stereotype me that way? What does a person's knowledge of geography and world politics have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep people like me from being respected at work and in my community. I'm as smart as anyone else and..."
The ventriloquist begins to apologize, when George W. stops him. "You stay out of this, Mister. I'm talking to that little smart aleck on your knee!"
Thanks to: David Figueroa
rec.:Jan/14/2001 pub.:Jan/14/2001 sent:Jan/14/2001
Ranking: 3.37 / 91
An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?” he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.
Thanks to: Fran Dryden - Escondido - Ca. - USA.
rec.:Dec/8/2009 pub.:Jan/4/2010 sent:Jan/12/2010
Ranking: 3.10 / 136
Two cowboys are riding their horses together on the prairie. They come upon a big pile of manure. The first cowboy goes to the second, "I will bet you a $1000 that I can eat all of this crap." The second cowboy agrees, so the first cowboy eats the entire pile and wins $1000.
The two cowboys ride on and after some time come across another pile of manure. This time the second cowboy bets the first that he too can eat the whole pile for $1000. The first cowboy agrees and the second cowboy eats the entire pile and wins the bet.
They ride on again. After a while the first cowboy says to the second, "Do you realize that we just ate a whole pile of manure for nothing?"
Thanks to: Glenn - USA.
rec.:May/17/2005 pub.:May/24/2005 sent:Nov/19/2013
Ranking: 3.12 / 130
It's a hot summer day and Jake and Harry are in a ditch digging away. Meanwhile, Ralph is up under the shade of a tree sipping on a cool drink. Jake asks Harry, "Why are we down here digging in the hot Sun while Ralph is being cool up there?" Harry says, "I don't know, I'll go ask him". Harry goes up and asks Ralph, "Why are you up here in the shade drinking a cool drink and Jake and I are in the ditch digging in the hot sun?" Ralph says, "'cause I've got smarts". "What's that? Asks Harry. Ralph puts his hand in front of the tree and says, "Hit my hand as hard as you can". Harry swings his fist at Ralph’s hand, Ralph moves his hand and Harry hits the tree, hurting his hand. Ralph, says "I knew to pull my hand away, that’s called having smarts". Harry goes back in the ditch and Jake asks, "What did he say?" Ralph says, "Its cause he has smarts." "What's that? Asks Jake. Harry puts his hand in front of his face and says. "Hit my hand!"
Thanks to: Joe Roberts - Allentown - Pennsylvania - USA.
rec.:Apr/23/2011 pub.:May/6/2011 sent:Jun/9/2013