Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 2.79 / 58
Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
Two more piggies walk into a bar. They soon get drunk and they ask, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
One piggy walks into a bar. He gets drunk out of his mind and then heads for the exit. "Hey, buddy! Do you want know where the bathroom is?" asks the bartender.
"No thanks," the piggy slurs, "I always go WEEWEEWEE all the way home!"
Thanks to: Rick Kennedy - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Feb/27/1999    pub.:Feb/27/1999    sent:Feb/27/1999

Ranking: 2.78 / 58
Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said,
“Your cat is rushing about like mad.” “I know,” the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements.”
- Larry Wilde –
Library of Laughter
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/10/2006    pub.:Apr/10/2006    sent:Aug/18/2006

Ranking: 2.98 / 43
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'you have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!
Thanks to: Ann Oberholz
rec.:Jan/24/2001    pub.:Jan/24/2001    sent:Jan/24/2001

Ranking: 2.98 / 42
A man graduated from veterinary school then took a course in taxidermy. He now has a sign in his Doctor's office that reads, "Veterinarian/Taxidermist - Either way - you get your pet back".
Thanks to: clyde messenger - baton rouge - la - USA.
rec.:Jun/26/2006    pub.:Jun/26/2006    sent:Jul/4/2006

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