Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 2.74 / 57
Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said,
“Your cat is rushing about like mad.” “I know,” the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements.”
- Larry Wilde –
Library of Laughter
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/10/2006    pub.:Apr/10/2006    sent:Aug/18/2006

Ranking: 2.75 / 55
Did you hear about the snail that got beat up by two turtles?
At the police station they asked him, “Did you get a good look at the turtles that did this? He said, “No, it all happened so fast.”

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/9/2003    pub.:Dec/9/2003    sent:Jul/6/2004

Ranking: 2.73 / 56
One day a duck went into a hardware store and asked the owner for some duck food. The owner looked at him funny, and said, This is a hardware store and we don’t carry duck food." The next day the duck came back to the hardware store an again asked the owner for some duck food. The owner, disturbed that the duck came back, said, I told you yesterday. This is a hardware store; we do not have any duck food! If you come back and ask for duck food again I will cement your feet in the ground!" So the next say the duck came back again and said, Do you have any cement?" "No, said the storeowner. Then, the duck said, Do you have any duck food?"
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jul/1/2001    pub.:Jul/1/2001    sent:Apr/29/2004

Ranking: 2.51 / 79
There were two cows standing in the field, one cow says to the other: "boy that mad cow disease has got me worried" the other cow says I'm not worried, I'm a penguin"
Thanks to: Lee Dyball - Julia Creek - Queensland - Australia
rec.:Sep/10/2001    pub.:Sep/23/2001

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