A woman owned a parrot that could say only one thing – “Who is it?” For years and years she had been trying to teach it to extend its vocabulary, but it resolutely refused to utter anything other than “Who is it?”
One day she had sent for the plumber, and as she had to go out shopping she arranged for him to find the key under the mat outside the front door. The plumber duly arrived, found the key, let himself in and set to work. Naturally the parrot, hearing someone in the house with an unfamiliar tread, decided to give a recital. “Who is it?” called the parrot. The plumber!” called the workman. Hearing a strange voice the parrot again decided to utter his one and only phrase. “Who is it?”
“The plumber!” came the response.
The parrot was not satisfied – he wanted to see who the stranger was. “Who is it? He called again, and again the plumber yelled out “It’s the plumber!” Again and again the bird called out “Who is it?” and again and again the poor bewildered plumber responded – “It’s the plumber! It’s the plumber! IT”S THE PLUMBER!” Eventually in a fury he roamed the house, going from room to room, trying to find out who was calling him – but he failed to realize that it was the parrot. This went on for a while, with him dashing around the house, growing increasingly desperate, and shouting out “It’s the plumber!” until eventually the wretched man fainted clean away in the hall!
Just at that moment the mistress of the house entered, saw the unconscious figure on the carper and said, “Oh! Who is it?”
The parrot replied, “It’s the plumber!”
Anonymous - USA.
3.72 / 18
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves.
You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me; it is going to be fatal!
Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?
I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk! Help me please, please help!
John Teixeira - Barueri - São Paulo - Brazil
3.13 / 31
Two fish in a tank one says to the other
"How do you drive this thing"
John Lynch - Westcliff on sea - Essex - United Kingdom
rec.:Apr/5/2013 pub.:Jun/21/2013 sent:Sep/27/2013
2.79 / 47
Why can’t you have two elephants in your swimming pool at the same time?
Because they’d only have one pair of trunks.
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/9/2003 pub.:Dec/9/2003 sent:Nov/10/2004