Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 2.54 / 80
There were two cows standing in the field, one cow says to the other: "boy that mad cow disease has got me worried" the other cow says I'm not worried, I'm a penguin"
Thanks to: Lee Dyball - Julia Creek - Queensland - Australia
rec.:Sep/10/2001    pub.:Sep/23/2001

Ranking: 2.81 / 52
A woman owned a parrot that could say only one thing – “Who is it?” For years and years she had been trying to teach it to extend its vocabulary, but it resolutely refused to utter anything other than “Who is it?”
One day she had sent for the plumber, and as she had to go out shopping she arranged for him to find the key under the mat outside the front door. The plumber duly arrived, found the key, let himself in and set to work. Naturally the parrot, hearing someone in the house with an unfamiliar tread, decided to give a recital. “Who is it?” called the parrot. The plumber!” called the workman. Hearing a strange voice the parrot again decided to utter his one and only phrase. “Who is it?”
“The plumber!” came the response.
The parrot was not satisfied – he wanted to see who the stranger was. “Who is it? He called again, and again the plumber yelled out “It’s the plumber!” Again and again the bird called out “Who is it?” and again and again the poor bewildered plumber responded – “It’s the plumber! It’s the plumber! IT”S THE PLUMBER!” Eventually in a fury he roamed the house, going from room to room, trying to find out who was calling him – but he failed to realize that it was the parrot. This went on for a while, with him dashing around the house, growing increasingly desperate, and shouting out “It’s the plumber!” until eventually the wretched man fainted clean away in the hall!
Just at that moment the mistress of the house entered, saw the unconscious figure on the carper and said, “Oh! Who is it?”
The parrot replied, “It’s the plumber!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/7/2003    pub.:Apr/7/2003

Ranking: 3.19 / 32
Two fish in a tank one says to the other
"How do you drive this thing"
Thanks to: John Lynch - Westcliff on sea - Essex - United Kingdom
rec.:Apr/5/2013    pub.:Jun/21/2013    sent:Sep/27/2013

Ranking: 2.75 / 55
Did you hear about the snail that got beat up by two turtles?
At the police station they asked him, “Did you get a good look at the turtles that did this? He said, “No, it all happened so fast.”

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/9/2003    pub.:Dec/9/2003    sent:Jul/6/2004

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