Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 3.00 / 34
Three male dogs: a Pit Bull, a German Shepherd and a Chihuahua, sat at the end of a bar downing a few drinks when a beautiful lady Collie walked in and sat at the opposite end. She noticed that they were drooling over her and offered them a deal. "If any of you can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a sentence that I like, I'll let you buy me a drink."
The male dogs started punching each other, feeling quite sure of themselves. The Pit Bull blurts out, "I like liver and cheese."
"No! How base!" snarls the lady Collie.
Then the Shepherd speaks up, "Liver and cheese make good food."
The Collie turns her head and says, "Ha! No good!"
Finally, the little Chihuahua crawls up on the bar and speaks,
"Liver alone, cheese mine!" He got to buy the lady the drink.
Thanks to: Becky O'Banion
rec.:Dec/18/1999    pub.:Dec/18/1999    sent:Dec/18/1999

Ranking: 2.50 / 68
Q. Why does a cow wear a bell?
A. Because his horn doesn’t work!
Thanks to: Guy Loften - Torrance - california - USA.
rec.:Jul/23/2003    pub.:Aug/19/2003    sent:Sep/10/2003

Ranking: 2.87 / 39
Jack was single. He lived in a small flat, which he shared with a pet parrot and a pit bull terrier named spike. When Jack's dishwashing machine broke down, he asked his neighbor Pet, the repairman to come and fix it. “The terrier won't harm you,” said Jack before leaving, "But whatever you do, NEVER SPEAK TO THE PARROT"

Soon after, the parrot started on Pet: "I heard your wife shout at you the other day, you are such a wimp" Pet ignored it and kept working. "You couldn't change your flat tire the other day" said the parrot, “so how are you going to fix a dishwashing machine?"
Fed up, Pet replied, "Okay. How would I expect you, with the brain the size of a bean to talk any sense?"
That’s it! Said the parrot, Spike, Get him!
Thanks to: Pryd Koffi - Harare - Zimbabwe
rec.:Apr/30/2003    pub.:Jul/18/2005    sent:Aug/19/2005

Ranking: 2.55 / 62
Q: Why do dogs make such poor gamblers?

A: When they get a good hand at poker, they wag their tails.
Thanks to: Sharon - Kelowna - Canada
rec.:Nov/20/2003    pub.:Jan/14/2004    sent:Apr/14/2004

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