Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 2.50 / 68
Q. Why does a cow wear a bell?
A. Because his horn doesn’t work!
Thanks to: Guy Loften - Torrance - california - USA.
rec.:Jul/23/2003    pub.:Aug/19/2003    sent:Sep/10/2003

Ranking: 2.87 / 39
Jack was single. He lived in a small flat, which he shared with a pet parrot and a pit bull terrier named spike. When Jack's dishwashing machine broke down, he asked his neighbor Pet, the repairman to come and fix it. “The terrier won't harm you,” said Jack before leaving, "But whatever you do, NEVER SPEAK TO THE PARROT"

Soon after, the parrot started on Pet: "I heard your wife shout at you the other day, you are such a wimp" Pet ignored it and kept working. "You couldn't change your flat tire the other day" said the parrot, “so how are you going to fix a dishwashing machine?"
Fed up, Pet replied, "Okay. How would I expect you, with the brain the size of a bean to talk any sense?"
That’s it! Said the parrot, Spike, Get him!
Thanks to: Pryd Koffi - Harare - Zimbabwe
rec.:Apr/30/2003    pub.:Jul/18/2005    sent:Aug/19/2005

Ranking: 2.55 / 62
Q: Why do dogs make such poor gamblers?

A: When they get a good hand at poker, they wag their tails.
Thanks to: Sharon - Kelowna - Canada
rec.:Nov/20/2003    pub.:Jan/14/2004    sent:Apr/14/2004

Ranking: 2.77 / 44
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him.
The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up." 
Thanks to: Donna Stuckert - USA.
rec.:Jul/5/2000    pub.:Jul/5/2000    sent:Jul/5/2000

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