Category: Judges Jokes

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Ranking: 3.22 / 63
Heckling in the courtroom had constantly interrupted the trial, and the judge had had enough. “The next person who interrupts the proceeding will be thrown out of my court!” he said severely, at which the defendant yelled, “Hooray!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2004    pub.:Apr/26/2004    sent:Sep/19/2004

Ranking: 3.69 / 35
Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other's case.

The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant's table, and admitted his guilt. The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and costs.

They switched places. The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court costs.

The second judge was furious. "I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!", he fumed. The first judge looked at him and replied, "This is the second such case we've had in here today. Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!"
Thanks to: Pat Sheeran (assist: Judge David Cain) - Columbus - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Dec/21/2012    pub.:Jun/21/2013    sent:Oct/22/2013

Ranking: 3.19 / 59
Mrs. Swanson declined to serve on the jury because she was not a believer in capital punishment and didn’t want her beliefs to get in the way of the trial. “But, Madam,” said the public defender, who had taken a liking to her kind face and calm demeanor, “this is not a murder trial. It is merely a civil lawsuit being brought by a wife against her husband. He gambled away the fifteen thousand dollars he’d promised to spend on a chinchilla coat for her birthday.” “Hmmm,” reflected Mrs. Swanson. “Okay, I’ll serve, I could be wrong about capital punishment.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/7/2010    pub.:Dec/7/2010    sent:Mar/12/2012

Ranking: 2.69 / 71
Standing before the judge during an alimony hearing, the man said, “As God is my judge, I do not owe that madwoman money!”
The judge calmly replied, “He isn’t. I am. You do.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/18/2003    pub.:Aug/18/2003    sent:Sep/26/2003

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