Ranking: 2.85 / 262
There was this tiger that woke up one morning and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger). Anyway, he felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him, "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?" And the poor quaking little monkey replied, "You are of course, no one is mightier than you."
A little while later the tiger confronted a deer, and bellowed out, "WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?" The deer shook so hard it could barely speak, but managed to stammer, "Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."
The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered up to an elephant who was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"
Well, the elephant grabbed the tiger with his trunk, picked him up, slammed him down; picked him up again, and shook him until the tiger was just a blur of orange and black and finally threw him violently into a nearby tree. The tiger staggered to his feet and looked at the elephant and said, "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so mad."
Thanks to: SimpleSentiments.com - Pembroke - Pines Florida - USA.
rec.:Apr/7/2000 pub.:Apr/7/2000 sent:Apr/16/2003
Ranking: 3.60 / 82
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'"
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
Thanks to: Kathy L. Watkins - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Jan/24/2000 pub.:Jan/24/2000 sent:Feb/1/2013
Ranking: 3.32 / 117
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
Thanks to: Paulina A. Candia - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Jul/28/1998 pub.:Jul/28/1998 sent:Apr/23/2014
Ranking: 3.62 / 79
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?”
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "no."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?” asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked,
"Why are they there?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:
"They're looking for me."
Thanks to: Replay Stuckhart
rec.:Nov/4/2000 pub.:Nov/4/2000 sent:Nov/4/2000