Category: Lawyer Jokes



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Ranking: 2.92 / 53
Visiting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in bed, anxiously leafing through the Bible.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Looking for loopholes,” was the lawyer’s reply.
#16462    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/20/2006    pub.:Feb/20/2006    sent:Jul/31/2006


Ranking: 2.79 / 63
After being arrested for robbery, Quinn hired the best lawyer in town.
“Look,” the crook said, “I’ve got nearly a million in cash in my bank box.
Can you get me off?”
The lawyer said, “Believe me, pal, you will never go to prison with that kind of money.”
And sure enough, he did not. He went to prison flat broke.
#10343    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003    pub.:Jul/1/2003    sent:Aug/22/2003


Ranking: 3.15 / 39
Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you."
"What do you mean," he replied. "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?"
"45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.
"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."
"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you *are* 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."
#197    
Thanks to: Laura Larson
rec.:Dec/12/1998    pub.:Dec/12/1998    sent:Dec/12/1998


Ranking: 2.75 / 64
A man committed murder. To fight his case he was advised to hire a good lawyer. He checked one who asked for $100. He thought this one is not good enough. The next one wanted $500. The next $5000. He found a real expensive one who wanted $10,0000.So the accused hired him. Ultimately he lost the case and was sentenced to death. As he was being taken to the death chamber, the first lawyer met him on the way and said " I would have got you this result for $100 only"!
#14365    
Thanks to: Ayaz Ahmad - Rawalpindi - Pakistan
rec.:Dec/20/2004    pub.:Dec/27/2004    sent:Apr/7/2005


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