Category: Marriage Jokes



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Ranking: 3.11 / 133
A man went into a dentist and said "how much will it cost to have teeth taken out" "$90" said the dentist "that’s ridiculous" said the man.” I could lose the anesthetic and it would cost $60" "that’s still to expensive,” said the man "if I don't use any anesthesia I could knock the price down to $20". Still to much" said the man.” Well one of my students can do it for $10" said the dentist "perfect" said the man "book my wife for next Tuesday".
#2100    
Thanks to: Joshua - Preston - England - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/17/2001    pub.:Dec/9/2001    sent:Mar/11/2013


Ranking: 3.38 / 90
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion." What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage. After 5 - - 10 - - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless. He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week! "The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here every Tuesday and Thursday."
#247    
Thanks to: Mark O.
rec.:Feb/7/1999    pub.:Feb/7/1999    sent:May/11/2008


Ranking: 3.40 / 87
Harry and Esther are out shopping one morning when
Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday
tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she
would like something electric."

Harry replies, "How about a chair?"

#15544    
Thanks to: Uwens Pomeroy - USA.
rec.:Jul/23/2005    pub.:Jul/28/2005    sent:Jan/23/2006


Ranking: 3.24 / 105
The wife saw her husband frustrated reading the Marriage Certificate from top to bottom, flip it over, and then read it again...
She asked:" Honey, what are you looking for?"
He answered:" Nothing dear, I’m just looking for the expiration date for this paper..."
#19415    
Thanks to: belal almomani - Jordan
rec.:Aug/29/2008    pub.:Sep/23/2008    sent:Dec/16/2008


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