Category: Marriage Jokes



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Ranking: 3.63 / 46
A distraught older woman is looking at herself in the mirror and crying. Her voice shakes as she says to her husband, "I'm so old. I'm so fat. I look horrible. I really need a compliment."
Her husband, determined to quickly give his beloved the comfort she needs, exclaims, "Damn, do you have good eyesight!"
#23436    
Thanks to: Ms. Klaus - Abingdon - Maryland - USA.
rec.:Apr/17/2013    pub.:Jun/21/2013    sent:Oct/9/2013


Ranking: 3.03 / 97
A man comes home from a night of drinking with the boys. As he falls through the doorway of his house, his wife snaps at him, “what’s the big idea coming home half drunk?” The man replies, “I’m sorry, honey. I ran out of money.”
#18690    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/23/2007    pub.:Dec/23/2007    sent:Jul/5/2012


Ranking: 3.47 / 47
A couple is arguing about who should make the coffee in the morning. The wife says, “I think your should do it because you get up first.”
He counters with, “The kitchen is your domain, and you do all the cooking so you know where everything is. I think you should make the coffee.” “No way,” she says. “You should do it. The Bible even says so.” “What the heck are you talking about?” She grabs the family Bible, thumbs through, and point to the appropriate section: “Hebrews”

#23557    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/10/2013    pub.:Jul/10/2013    sent:Nov/25/2013


Ranking: 3.19 / 64
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession…even to the Supermarket which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!”
#20442    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/2/2009    pub.:Sep/2/2009    sent:Sep/23/2009


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