Category: Marriage Jokes



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Ranking: 2.55 / 47
Tired of having to balance his wife Lucy’s checkbook, Bob made a deal with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. Only then would he lend his expertise.
The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, the woman said proudly, “There! I’ve done it! I made it balance!”
Impressed, Bob came over to take a look.
“Let’s see … mortgage 550.00…electricity 70.50…phone 35.00.” His brow wrinkled
as he read the last entry. “It says here ESP, 615.00. What the heck is that?”
“Oh,” she said, “That means, Error Some Place.”
#10331    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003    pub.:Jul/1/2003    sent:Aug/19/2003


Ranking: 2.81 / 32
One day a couple visited a marriage counselor about their children. The wife says to the marriage counselor "the only reason we are married because neither of us want custody of the children"
#2268    
Thanks to: Noel Black - Sri Lanka
rec.:Dec/3/2001    pub.:Dec/5/2001


Ranking: 2.29 / 69
(This joke should be understood in the spirit that X'tian marriages in our part of the world are almost always arranged, divorces are rare & socially stigmatic. So spouses are tolerant)
On the day I got married, my uncle gave me his piece of personal wisdom.
He said: In the first year, the wife is obedient. She listens to whatever you say. So enjoy yourself.
In the second year, the role changes & the husband listens to his wife. So it's her time to enjoy.
In the third & succeeding years, there are no more such roles. So the neighbors listen to what you shout at each other. And they enjoy.

#10301    
Thanks to: ARTHUR VARGHESE - COCHIN, - KERALA - India
rec.:Jun/29/2003    pub.:Jul/10/2003    sent:Aug/25/2003


Ranking: 2.74 / 34
The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he would like a bottle of Christian Dior for his wife’s birthday.
“A little surprise eh?” said the clerk.
“You bet,” replied the man. “She is expecting a cruise.”
#15590    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/30/2005    pub.:Jul/30/2005    sent:Aug/6/2005


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