Category: Marriage Jokes



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Ranking: 4.11 / 266
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'
#21427    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/20/2010    pub.:Sep/20/2010    sent:Sep/16/2013


Ranking: 3.61 / 468
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
#691    
Thanks to: Emilio Candia - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Jun/11/2000    pub.:Jun/11/2000    sent:Oct/20/2013


Ranking: 3.92 / 283
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing black?"
#13563    
Thanks to: Anna - Mn - USA.
rec.:Jun/10/2004    pub.:Jun/17/2004    sent:Apr/6/2013


Ranking: 4.04 / 232
A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says, "I love you."
The husband says, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
The wife replies, "It's me, talking to the wine."
#22019    
Thanks to: Kathleen Short - Beverly - MA - USA.
rec.:May/23/2011    pub.:Jun/6/2011    sent:Jul/22/2013


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