Category: Marriage Jokes

A few days before her birthday a husband asked his wife, “Dear, what would you like for your present?”
Wife: I really don’t think I should say.
Husband: How about a diamond ring?
Wife: I don’t care much for diamonds.
Husband: well, then, a mink coat?
Wife: You know I do not like furs.
Husband: A golden necklace?
Wife: I already have three of them.
Husband: Well, gosh, what do you want?
Wife: What I’d really like is a divorce
Husband: Hmmm, I wasn’t planning on spending that much

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." 

A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like."
"Oh, that's easy," his pal replied. "All you have to do is find someone whos' just like your mother." "I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like."

Father: Don't you think our son gets his brains from me?
Mother: Probably, dear. I still have all of mine.