A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman.
She takes one look at him. “You, sir, are drunk!"
"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"
Taylor Marie Livingston - Victorville - CA - USA.
rec.:Sep/25/2007 pub.:Oct/26/2007 sent:Dec/25/2008
2.92 / 240
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper??
A: Don't know. It’s never been done!!!!
rec.:Jun/21/1998 pub.:Jun/21/1998 sent:Jun/21/1998
3.28 / 127
Q: Why was Adam the happiest man ever lived?
A: Because he was the only man without a mother-in-law.
jose - LA - Ca - United States Minor Outlying Islands
rec.:Dec/4/2003 pub.:Jan/14/2004 sent:Jan/26/2004
3.29 / 121
For his entire working life, a dedicated and hardworking Astrophysicist tried in all earnest to find the existence of other being somewhere in the universe. After 58 years of constant effort, he finally receives a response from a planet 30 billion light years away.
“What is your planet like?” groaned the extraterrestrial from the other side of the Galaxy.
“It is 12,756 Kilometers in diameter, is 93,000,000 miles from the nearest star, our sun, has an average temperature of 72 degrees F. We breathe oxygen, live about 75 years, and have both men and women” answered the Physicist.
“Do the you get along with the women on your planet?” the extraterrestrial asked slowly.
Puzzled by the question, but not wanting to insult the female Physicists near by, he answered “Why yes. We get along quite well here.”
The extraterrestrial perked up “Can we send you ours?”
George Anthony - Stow - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Oct/11/2006 pub.:Oct/25/2006 sent:Aug/12/2014