Category: Men Vs. Women Jokes

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Ranking: 3.11 / 149
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us."
"Great. Where do you live?"
"Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in."
"Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?"
"Surely, you're not coming empty-handed."
Thanks to: Samantha Oberholz
rec.:Oct/4/2000    pub.:Oct/4/2000    sent:Aug/16/2014

Ranking: 3.23 / 116
Mrs. Smith’s elderly husband doesn't feel well so she takes him to the dr. Mr. Smith leaves her in the waiting room for a while. Finally the Dr. comes and says, "Mrs. Smith I’m sorry to tell you that your husband is going to die." Mrs. Smith says, "Dr. is there anything I can do?" the Dr. told her "well there is a couple of things you could do: First you could cook him a wonderful dinner every night. Second you could give him a nice back rub every night. Third you could make love to him like you never have before every night." Mrs. Smith says ok. A little while later Mr. Smith comes out and asks Mrs. Smith "what did the Dr. say?" Mrs. Smith says, "I’m sorry honey but you are going to die."
rec.:Aug/16/2002    pub.:Nov/12/2002    sent:Oct/14/2010

Ranking: 3.14 / 127
A man sees a beautiful woman.
Approaching her, and in his coolest Barry White tone says: " If good looks where a minute, you would be an hour"
The woman looks deep into the man's eyes and in her sexiest voice replies: "If good looks were within your reach, you wouldn’t have any arms."
Thanks to: lemek divine - savannah - ga - USA.
rec.:Jun/10/2002    pub.:Aug/24/2002

Ranking: 2.85 / 209
What is the difference between a woman and a battery?
“A battery always has a positive side.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/11/2003    pub.:Dec/11/2003    sent:Apr/26/2013

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