Category: Men Vs. Women Jokes

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Ranking: 3.07 / 137
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us."
"Great. Where do you live?"
"Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in."
"Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?"
"Surely, you're not coming empty-handed."
Thanks to: Samantha Oberholz
rec.:Oct/4/2000    pub.:Oct/4/2000    sent:Apr/11/2010

Ranking: 3.23 / 106
For his entire working life, a dedicated and hardworking Astrophysicist tried in all earnest to find the existence of other being somewhere in the universe. After 58 years of constant effort, he finally receives a response from a planet 30 billion light years away.

“What is your planet like?” groaned the extraterrestrial from the other side of the Galaxy.

“It is 12,756 Kilometers in diameter, is 93,000,000 miles from the nearest star, our sun, has an average temperature of 72 degrees F. We breathe oxygen, live about 75 years, and have both men and women” answered the Physicist.

“Do the you get along with the women on your planet?” the extraterrestrial asked slowly.

Puzzled by the question, but not wanting to insult the female Physicists near by, he answered “Why yes. We get along quite well here.”

The extraterrestrial perked up “Can we send you ours?”
Thanks to: George Anthony - Stow - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Oct/11/2006    pub.:Oct/25/2006    sent:Jan/28/2013

Ranking: 3.05 / 136

Q: What does every woman call an intelligent, attractive, caring, loving and sensitive man?
A: A dream.
Thanks to: Shahid Jamil - Edmonton, Alberta - Canada
rec.:Jan/3/2009    pub.:Jan/8/2009    sent:Apr/4/2014

Ranking: 2.81 / 205
What is the difference between a woman and a battery?
“A battery always has a positive side.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/11/2003    pub.:Dec/11/2003    sent:Apr/26/2013

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