Ranking: 3.43 / 114
A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life.
He went to a local park to try it out on a statue of Gen. Ulysses Grant.
After application, Gen Grant began to move and soon was completely alive.
The scientist asked, "What's the first thing you'll do, General?"
The general answered while drawing his pistol "I'm going to kill about a million damn pigeons!"
Thanks to: l w smith - gambrills - md - USA.
rec.:Nov/15/2005 pub.:Dec/22/2005 sent:Apr/3/2014
Ranking: 3.45 / 106
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind.
The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.
He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- Make Sure The Captain Is Aboard Before Getting Under Way."
Thanks to: Donna Stuckert - USA.
rec.:May/15/2000 pub.:May/15/2000 sent:May/15/2000
Ranking: 3.42 / 107
During training exercises, the Lieutenant driving down a
muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud
with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled
"Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him
the keys, "Yours is."
Thanks to: Jay - Houston - TX - USA.
rec.:Mar/5/2003 pub.:May/8/2003 sent:Apr/18/2014
Ranking: 3.14 / 138
The new army recruit was serving his first guard duty. He did his best for a while but about 5 a.m. she went to sleep. When he opened his eyes he found the day officer standing before him. Remembering the stiff penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this clever young man kept his head bowed for another moment, then looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/24/2005 pub.:Jun/24/2005 sent:Apr/3/2011