Category: Miscellaneous Jokes



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Ranking: 3.36 / 121
There once was a blonde who had always heard about ice fishing, so one day she tried it. She went to an icy area, cut a hole, and started fishing. All of a sudden, she hears a voice. “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She ignores it and moves to another area, cutting a hole, and beginning to fish again. Again she hears the booming voice. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!" She is starting to get freaked out now. "Lord? Is that you?" she asks. In reply she hears, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"
#14514    
Thanks to: Lily - Seattle - WA - USA.
rec.:Jan/16/2005    pub.:Apr/1/2005    sent:May/30/2009


Ranking: 3.71 / 76
A Doctor at a health conference said “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be destructive, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?” After several seconds of silence, a 70-year-old man sitting in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”
#20405    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/19/2009    pub.:Aug/19/2009    sent:Dec/16/2010


Ranking: 3.58 / 88
Bob stood over his tee sot for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked, "what the hell is taking so long?" "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse," Bob explained. "I want to make a perfect shot." "Good lord!" his companion exclaimed. "You don't have a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
#906    
Thanks to: Don Oberholz
rec.:Jan/1/2001    pub.:Jan/1/2001    sent:Jan/29/2013


Ranking: 3.27 / 128
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town’s preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”
#21937    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2011    pub.:Apr/26/2011    sent:May/14/2011


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