Ranking: 3.65 / 72
A guy gets into a taxi after a boozy night out and halfway through the journey wants to stop and buy cigarettes. He taps the driver on the shoulder and suddenly the driver screams, swerves across the road and mounts the sidewalk stopping just short of a brick wall.
All was quiet for a few moments and then the driver turns around and says "Don't EVER tap me on the shoulder whilst I'm driving EVER again". The guy says, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would scare you so much"
The driver replies, "It wouldn't normally but this is my first night as a taxi driver and up until yesterday, for twenty five years, I was driving a Hearse.
Thanks to: Nitesh Shah - London - United Kingdom
rec.:Jul/5/2005 pub.:Jul/18/2005 sent:Sep/7/2005
Ranking: 3.14 / 140
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
Thanks to: Jolly Uncle - New Delhi - Delhi - India
rec.:Jul/29/2008 pub.:Jul/29/2008 sent:Jan/21/2011
Ranking: 3.50 / 84
Just something funny to read.
1) Itís better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.
2) Iím lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me there.
4) No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk...
5) Daydreaming is way better than school!
6) Education is the progressive relation of our ignorance.
7) Insanity: A perfectly normal change to a normal mind.
8) The voices in my head are snoring.
9) Me? Psychotic? What gave you that idea?
10) Iím not crazy! It's the rest of you that are freaks!
11) You say I'm psycho like it's a bad thing!
12) Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations, & epochs... it is the rule!!!
13) Only two things are infinite: the universe, & human stupidity...
14) My fist & your teeth have an appointment...
15) If nobody is perfect then hi, my name is Nobody.
16) Caution: Professionals at work
17) I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
18) Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!!!
19) Lifting weights are fun!!!
Use your siblings to your advantage.
Thanks to: nicole long - eagle mountain - utah - USA.
rec.:Dec/30/2005 pub.:Jan/11/2006 sent:Sep/30/2012
Ranking: 3.98 / 49
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Harley Davidson motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running"
Thanks to: Bob C - Spring City - Tennessee - USA.
rec.:Aug/24/2012 pub.:Jun/17/2013 sent:Sep/23/2013