Category: Miscellaneous Jokes



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Ranking: 3.40 / 95
Walking down the street one day, a woman heard a voice yell, 'stop! If you take one more step, you will be killed. The woman stopped and seconds later a brick fell and landed in her path.
A minute later or two, she was ready to cross the street when the same voice bellowed 'halt! Don’t cross the street now'. An out-of-control beer truck soon screeched around the corner and didn't even slowdown as it ran the red light. Shaken, the woman asked out loud, "who are you?"
'I am your guardian angel' replied the voice. 'And I imagine you have some questions for me"
'You bet I do', the woman said. 'Where were you on my wedding day?'
#10376    
Thanks to: Mabel Ronnie - Yenagoa - Bayelsa - Nigeria
rec.:Jul/4/2003    pub.:Jul/10/2003    sent:May/6/2008


Ranking: 3.11 / 141
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says:
"Oh, my fault, you okay?”
The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!"
#14622    
Thanks to: Anton - Canada
rec.:Feb/8/2005    pub.:Apr/1/2005    sent:Aug/19/2011


Ranking: 3.08 / 148
Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar. Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word. Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'." Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man. "Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
#2617    
Thanks to: Rachel T. - Baton Rouge - Louisiana - USA.
rec.:Dec/29/2001    pub.:Jan/2/2002    sent:Aug/13/2014


Ranking: 3.21 / 121
Having shot a moose two Antartians began dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.
On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice.
"Sure!" the hunters agreed.
"Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not the tail."
"Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.
After about five minutes one said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?"
"Aye, you're right," said his friend, "but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"
#6411    
Thanks to: Tom Reilly - Cambridge - Ont. - Canada
rec.:Oct/30/2002    pub.:Feb/7/2003    sent:Dec/21/2013


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