Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 3.07 / 127
A guest in a posh hotel comes down to breakfast and called over the head waiter and read from the menu ďIíd like one under cooked egg so that itís running, and one over cooked egg that itís tough and hard to eat. Iíd also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that itís impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.Ē thatís a complicated order sir, said the bewildered waiter. ďIt might be quite difficult.Ē The guest replied sarcastically, ďIt canít be that difficult because thatís exactly what you brought me yesterday!Ē
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/27/2007    pub.:Jul/27/2007    sent:Jun/4/2015

Ranking: 2.85 / 176

A young man tutored his sweetheart maths,
he thought of it as his mission,
he kissed her once then once again and said
"There, that's addition!"
She took it upon herself to return the pleasant action,
she kissed once and once again,
smiled and said "and that's subtraction!"
Now she'd learned the basics without too much complication,
they kissed each other once, then twice,
and said "that must be multiplication!"
Meanwhile the young lady's father
had this 'lesson' in his vision,
he kicked that boy ten foot out the door and said
"Then that is long division!"
Thanks to: Lee Elvin - London - United Kingdom
rec.:Sep/3/2003    pub.:Sep/12/2003    sent:Dec/25/2014

Ranking: 2.98 / 128
Dave went to his local lotto center to check his ticket. When the clerk checked his ticket Dave was told that he had won 5 million dollars. Dave went right home. When he saw his wife he said, I just won the lottery and I am going now to collect my winnings. I want you to be packed before I get back. His wife very excitedly ask, "What should I pack, warm or cold weather clothes? Dave looked at her and said "I donít care as long as your are gone when I get home."
Thanks to: aubern
rec.:Jun/6/2001    pub.:Jun/6/2001    sent:Oct/21/2013

Ranking: 3.14 / 81
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the desert when a line of mounted Indians appeared to the right of them. They looked to the left and saw another line of mounted Indians. Behind them they saw another line of mounted Indians.
The Lone Ranger said, "Looks like we're in trouble, Tonto."
Tonto replied, "What do you mean WE, white man?"
Thanks to: Harry Kuhles - Montgomery - TX - USA.
rec.:Aug/4/2009    pub.:Sep/11/2009    sent:Dec/2/2009

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