Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 3.83 / 29
A border patrol officer is patrolling the border between the United States and Canada one night when a man drives up on a motorcycle. The officer stops the man and asks, "What do you have in that backpack there?" The man replies, "Sand." "Sand?" the officer says puzzled, "Please open the bag sir." The man opens the bag and there is sand. "Alright, you may go on your way then, the officer said with a puzzled look.” The man then drives off into the darkness. The next week, the same man on his motorcycle drives up to the same station that he did before. He says that there is sand in the bag and, sure enough, there is. The man drives up on a motorcycle with sand in his bag every week for a couple of months. The officer starts to think, "This guy is trying to smuggle something and I am going to be the one that catches him." The next time the man drives up to the station, the officer says, "I promise, I'm not going to arrest you. But just tell me. Are you trying to smuggle something or not?" "Do you swear you won't take me in?" the man replies. "I promise," says the officer. "Well, I am ashamed to admit it but, I have been smuggling something," the man says. The officer asks curiously, "What have you been smuggling?" The man replies with a grin, "Motorcycles."
Thanks to: Adam - Vatican City State (Holy See)
rec.:Dec/5/2002    pub.:Apr/16/2003

Ranking: 3.14 / 59
A man at a restaurant asks the waiter, “How do you prepare your chickens?
The waiter replies, “Nothing special. We just tell’em they’re gonna die.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/29/2003    pub.:Oct/29/2003    sent:Jul/10/2004

Ranking: 3.69 / 32
A truck driver was sitting down in a small roadside diner, minding his own business, and having a plate of spaghetti and a beer. Before long, about 30 of the nastiest, meanest looking bikers come roaring in to the parking lot and boisterously enter the diner -- taking over the tiny place. The macho leader notices the trucker in the corner and goes over to "mark the territory." He starts giving the trucker hard time, but the trucker is not to be provoked. Soon the leader is frustrated by the trucker's lack of response and he dumps the trucker's spaghetti plate right on his head. The trucker is covered with noodles and sauce is dripping down his face. He tells the leader he doesn't want any trouble and cleans away the mess with a towel provided by the proprietor. The leader is not done with his provocation -- he tells the trucker he's a lily-livered sissy and dumps the trucker's beer right in his lap. The trucker shoots to his feet -- the room is silent. The bikers think they're finally gonna see some action -- but the trucker just saunters over to the cash register, settles the check and strides out the door. A minute or two pass and the leader decides to have the last word, "THAT GUY SURE ISN'T MUCH OF A MAN!" About 10 seconds of silence follow-- THE SILENCE IS SHATTERED BY THE SOUND OF MANGLED METAL AND THE WORDS OF THE DINER PROPRIETOR..."AND HE SURE ISN'T MUCH OF A DRIVER EITHER. LOOKS LIKE HE JUST RAN OVER MOST OF THOSE HARLEYS IN THE PARKING LOT!"
Thanks to: Steve - Los Angeles - CA - USA.
rec.:Feb/10/1999    pub.:Feb/10/1999    sent:Feb/10/1999

Ranking: 2.75 / 103
After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Morris mailed
off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer.

Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton
in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the
many products the same company produced: soaps, detergents,
tooth paste, and paper items... with a "thank you" note from
the manufacturer.
"Well, What do you think?" asked his smiling wife, Ruth.

"I think that next time," Morris replied. "I'm writing to
General Motors."
Thanks to: Abi - Perrysburg - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Jan/3/2005    pub.:Jan/13/2005    sent:Jan/24/2008

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