Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

Add to Google
[290]  25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39  
Ranking: 2.91 / 53
Scientist revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100 percent of them gained weight, talked incessantly without making sense, and couldnít drive.
ďNo further testing is planned.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/11/2003    pub.:Dec/11/2003    sent:Jul/9/2004

Ranking: 2.87 / 54
What did the tired chess player do?
He took the knight off
Thanks to: susan pugh - petersburg - USA.
rec.:Dec/28/2010    pub.:Feb/13/2011    sent:Mar/16/2012

Ranking: 2.38 / 122
A college graduate applies for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he is given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the young man is alone, he steps into an empty hallway and opens the packet. Inside, a message reads: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor."
Thanks to: Pauline
rec.:Jun/26/1998    pub.:Jun/26/1998    sent:Dec/11/2001

Ranking: 2.88 / 50
There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word Ė itís ďUP.Ē Itís easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special, and this is confusing. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, UP takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you donít give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When it doesnít rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but Iíll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so Iíll shut UP.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2004    pub.:Jun/22/2004    sent:Jul/3/2004

[290]  25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39  


© 1995-2014 EMERgency 24 Inc.