A man asked the barber “How much for a haircut?”
“$5.50.” said the barber.
“And how much for a shave?”
“Very well, shave my head.”
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/11/2004 pub.:May/11/2004 sent:Jul/22/2004
2.87 / 54
What did the tired chess player do?
He took the knight off
susan pugh - petersburg - USA.
rec.:Dec/28/2010 pub.:Feb/13/2011 sent:Mar/16/2012
2.38 / 122
A college graduate applies for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he is given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the young man is alone, he steps into an empty hallway and opens the packet. Inside, a message reads: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor."
rec.:Jun/26/1998 pub.:Jun/26/1998 sent:Dec/11/2001
2.88 / 50
There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word – it’s “UP.” It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special, and this is confusing. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, UP takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so I’ll shut UP.
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2004 pub.:Jun/22/2004 sent:Jul/3/2004