Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 2.90 / 41
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop-N-Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-serve. Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. 
Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. 
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." 
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes - conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. 
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. 
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. 
Thanks to: Steven Hayes - Olalla - WA - USA.
rec.:Dec/2/1999    pub.:Dec/2/1999    sent:Dec/2/1999

Ranking: 2.49 / 75
A lonely stranger went into a deserted restaurant and ordered the breakfast special. When his order arrived, he looked up at the waitress and asked, “How about a kind word?” The waitress leaned over and whispered, “Don’t eat the meat.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/7/2010    pub.:Dec/7/2010    sent:Apr/20/2011

Ranking: 2.86 / 43
"I am not at all satisfied with the evidence against you,"said
the magistrate to the prisoner on trial,
"so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged."
" Oh, good," said the prisoner, " does that mean
that I can keep the money?"
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/5/2001    pub.:Sep/5/2001

Ranking: 2.54 / 69
A man walks into a restaurant and is shown to his seat by the hostess. The waiter approaches and asks, "Would you like to try our house special?” The man replies, "No, just bring me a steak, and make it lean". The waiter, somewhat puzzled, looks at him and replies, "which way?"
Thanks to: Crazy Dave - USA.
rec.:Sep/4/2007    pub.:Oct/26/2007    sent:Dec/6/2009

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