Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

A Skeleton walks into a bar and says,
“Give me a beer and give me a mop.”

A set of jumper cables goes into a bar. The bartender sees them and asks, "Hey, what are you doing in here?" "Just want to have a drink and relax awhile," was the reply. "Well, all right. Just don't start anything!"

Dr. Burns was disgusted when Frank staggered into his office thoroughly inebriated.
He looked at him severely. “What happened, Frank? I thought we were going to lick this problem by cutting you down to just two drinks a day.” Frank dragged a finger across his chest. “Cross my heart, doc, I—I did as you asked.”
“Impossible. If you had, you wouldn’t be in this shape.”
“No, honestly!” Frank replied. “In fact, when I left here the other day. I went to another doctor for a second opinion – and he prescribed the same thing!”

A businesswoman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. “Hi, honey,” he says. “Want a little company?”
“Why?” asks the woman? “Do you have one to sell?