Ranking: 2.86 / 29
A man was at the bar and asked for a shot and so the bartender gave him the drink the man drank it then looked in his pocket. Then the man asked for another so the bartender again gave it to him then after he took the drink the man looked in his pocket. The man asked for another drink and did the same thing. Then the bartender asked the man why he kept looking in his pocket, and the man said there is a picture of my wife in there and when she starts looking good that’s when I will go home.
Thanks to: Mandi - Inver Grove Heights - MN
rec.:Apr/18/2001 pub.:Apr/18/2001 sent:Apr/18/2001
Ranking: 2.33 / 60
A long time drunk was lying in his hospital bed, still groggy from the effects of his recent operation. His doctor came in looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."
"All right," said the patient. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"
Thanks to: Bill Nelson - Union - New Jersey - USA.
Ranking: 2.03 / 110
A man walks into a bar with a Giraffe, and sits down at the bar. He says to the barman, "One pint for me and ten for the Giraffe". The barman gives the man and the Giraffe their drinks and then the Giraffe downs them all in on go. The Giraffe then says, "More"
The barman give the Giraffe ten more pint the same. The Giraffe does the same thing again, and downs them all at once. The Giraffe then collapses on the floor and the man gets up to walk out. The barman says, "you can't leave that 'lying' here", and the man says,” It’s not a Lyon, It's a Giraffe"!
Thanks to: Miceton. - Middlesbrough - United Kingdom
Ranking: 2.27 / 63
A drunk was discovered late at night crawling along the Boardwalk at Atlantic City. A policeman approached him and asked: "What do you think you are doing?"
He answered: "Officer, I am going to climb this ladder, if it takes me all night!"
Thanks to: Owens Lee Pomeroy - USA.
rec.:Nov/8/2004 pub.:Nov/17/2004 sent:Jan/5/2005