Ranking: 2.33 / 60
A long time drunk was lying in his hospital bed, still groggy from the effects of his recent operation. His doctor came in looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."
"All right," said the patient. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"
Thanks to: Bill Nelson - Union - New Jersey - USA.
Ranking: 2.03 / 110
A man walks into a bar with a Giraffe, and sits down at the bar. He says to the barman, "One pint for me and ten for the Giraffe". The barman gives the man and the Giraffe their drinks and then the Giraffe downs them all in on go. The Giraffe then says, "More"
The barman give the Giraffe ten more pint the same. The Giraffe does the same thing again, and downs them all at once. The Giraffe then collapses on the floor and the man gets up to walk out. The barman says, "you can't leave that 'lying' here", and the man says,” It’s not a Lyon, It's a Giraffe"!
Thanks to: Miceton. - Middlesbrough - United Kingdom
Ranking: 4.33 / 9
A man walks into a bar, and tells the bartender to pour him a 12 year old single malt scotch "before the trouble starts." The bartender pours his drink and quietly moves away.
After finishing his drink, the man calls the bartender back and tells him "pour me a 15 year old scotch before the trouble starts." The bartender thinks this is very strange but pours him the 15 year old scotch.
After finishing that drink, the man tells the bartender to pour him an 18 year old scotch "before the trouble starts." The bartender is becoming a little worried, but pours him the 18 year old scotch.
Before the man finishes his 18 year old scotch, the bartender finally gets up the nerve to ask: "Say friend, when this trouble is going to start?" To which the man replies: "The trouble starts, when you find out that I don't have any money."
Thanks to: Barry Foster - Indianapolis - IN - USA.
Ranking: 2.27 / 63
A drunk was discovered late at night crawling along the Boardwalk at Atlantic City. A policeman approached him and asked: "What do you think you are doing?"
He answered: "Officer, I am going to climb this ladder, if it takes me all night!"
Thanks to: Owens Lee Pomeroy - USA.
rec.:Nov/8/2004 pub.:Nov/17/2004 sent:Jan/5/2005