Bob tells Fred: My wife drives me to drink.
Fred comments: You’re lucky. I have to walk.
Anonymous - USA.
2.66 / 38
Three strings walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The first string walks up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender looks at the string and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string walks back to his buddies and explains. The second string says "No problem, I'll go get our beers." The second string walks up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender says, "Listen man, I told your buddy that we don't serve strings here." Empty handed, the second string walks back to his buddies. The third string says, "No problem. Tie me in a knot at one end and fray my ends at the other." He struts up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender proceeds to get him the beer when he suspiciously turns to look at the string and says, "Excuse me, but are you a string?" The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot!"
rec.:Jan/6/2000 pub.:Jan/6/2000 sent:Jan/6/2000
2.42 / 52
A ham, an egg, and a toast go into a bar, and ordered drinks.
Then the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."
rec.:Sep/26/2000 pub.:Sep/26/2000 sent:Sep/26/2000
2.33 / 61
A long time drunk was lying in his hospital bed, still groggy from the effects of his recent operation. His doctor came in looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."
"All right," said the patient. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"
Bill Nelson - Union - New Jersey - USA.