Ranking: 3.27 / 111
An airplane was once making a routine flight from Hackensack, New Jersey to New York City. The people on board where the world's smartest politician, the pilot (also a father), a Boy Scout, and a devout Christian. In mid-flight, the engine stalled, and there where only three parachutes. The pilot said, " I've got a family down there. I need to live so I can take care of them" so he grabbed a parachute and jumped out. The world's smartest politician said, I've got an election coming up, so I'd better live so I can win it." So he grabbed a parachute and jumped out. That left the Boy Scout and the Christian in the plane and only 1 parachute. The Christian said, "I have lived a long life. I am prepared for. Go and grab that parachute for yourself." The Boy Scout got his parachute and was about to jump when he said, "Hey, there is one for you too. The world’s smartest politician grabbed my backpack
Thanks to: DylanSmith - Tulsa - Oklahoma - USA.
rec.:Aug/19/2004 pub.:Sep/16/2004 sent:Mar/4/2009
Ranking: 3.62 / 68
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center's director told him that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a politicians brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politicians brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many politicians we would have to kill?"
Thanks to: Raging - WsM - Somerset - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/28/1998 pub.:Nov/28/1998 sent:Nov/28/1998
Ranking: 3.03 / 122
Now that we are into renaming things like Mount Diablo, President Obama wants to rename the San Andreas Fault. His suggestion, Bush's Fault.
Thanks to: robert smallman - san rafael - ca - USA.
rec.:Feb/17/2010 pub.:Mar/1/2010 sent:May/10/2014
Ranking: 3.19 / 77
Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster.
“There is most certainly a difference,” said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune __ but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise ship carrying the Congress was to sink in the middle of the ocean, that would be a disaster __ but by no stretch of the imagination would it be a misfortune
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/1/2010 pub.:Sep/1/2010 sent:May/8/2011