Category: Political Jokes

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards.
If you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." -- Ronald Reagan

What did the young Arnold Schwarzenegger state, when attending music school in Austria, after turning down the chance to become another Beethoven, Mozart or Chopin? What did he say?

"I'll be Bach."

Fidel Castro dies and goes up to heaven. He's standing at Heavens gate and St. Peter tells him it was because of what he did to his people, so he will be going to hell. When Fidel gets to hell he tells Satan he left his bags in heaven and needs to go get them. Satan says
"I'll get two of my demons to get them for you." The demons are in Heaven and they both are wondering where his bags are. One of the demons looks over the gates and they both start climbing the gates and an angel sees them and says " Great he's already sending refugees over."

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma!!!," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!!!"
"Honestly?", his mother replied.
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"