Category: Puns

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Ranking: 2.38 / 99
Two vultures decided to fly to Florida on an airline. They got on board carrying six dead raccoons, and the flight attendant said, “I’m sorry, but there’s a limit of two carrion per passenger.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/9/2003    pub.:Dec/9/2003    sent:Jan/1/2004

Ranking: 2.55 / 73
The young son of a family of three balloons was sufficiently small for him to sleep with his parents in their bed. The time came when he became too big to fit in the bed and his father told him to sleep in another bedroom. During the night the son was afraid and went back to his parents but could not fit. He undid the knot in his father balloon to make him smaller and thus create some space and then re-knotted it. This did not work and he did the same to the mother balloon, still no joy, so he did the same to himself and eventually managed to snuggle in. The next day the father saw his son and very angry he said, “Son you’ve let me down, your mother down and worst of all you've let yourself down.”
Thanks to: R H - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/17/2009    pub.:Nov/30/2009    sent:Aug/4/2010

Ranking: 2.32 / 106
Two young skunks named -In-and-Out go out to play.
after a while Out got bored so he went in.
Mummy skunk said that tea was ready and sent Out, out to tell In to come in.
very quickly Out came in with In.
That was quick said mummy skunk how did you find In so fast?
Oh said Out that was easy. “IN STINKED.”
Thanks to: iaine de montravel - bedford - bedfordshire - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/17/2003    pub.:Dec/10/2003    sent:Jan/10/2004

Ranking: 2.29 / 100
A man was walking down the road with a bag of liverwurst under his arm. He came upon a young, very thin boy with a tern under his arm. The man asked "What are you doing with that bird under your arm?” The boy answered" I am very hungry and I want to eat this bird.” The man wanted to save the tern and at the same time ease the boy's hunger, so he traded the bag of liverwurst for the bird. In other words, he took a "TERN FOR THE WURST".
Thanks to: Freddie Pitz - Nepean - Ontario - Canada
rec.:Oct/25/2007    pub.:Oct/26/2007    sent:Apr/21/2009

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