Category: Puns

Two vultures decided to fly to Florida on an airline. They got on board carrying six dead raccoons, and the flight attendant said, “I’m sorry, but there’s a limit of two carrion per passenger.”

The young son of a family of three balloons was sufficiently small for him to sleep with his parents in their bed. The time came when he became too big to fit in the bed and his father told him to sleep in another bedroom. During the night the son was afraid and went back to his parents but could not fit. He undid the knot in his father balloon to make him smaller and thus create some space and then re-knotted it. This did not work and he did the same to the mother balloon, still no joy, so he did the same to himself and eventually managed to snuggle in. The next day the father saw his son and very angry he said, “Son you’ve let me down, your mother down and worst of all you've let yourself down.”

Two young skunks named -In-and-Out go out to play.
after a while Out got bored so he went in.
Mummy skunk said that tea was ready and sent Out, out to tell In to come in.
very quickly Out came in with In.
That was quick said mummy skunk how did you find In so fast?
Oh said Out that was easy. “IN STINKED.”

A man went into his dentist to see why his dentures kept decaying rapidly on him.

The dentist looked at his dentures and remarked, "This is very odd, they look like something's been eating them. Is there anything different that you've been eating lately?"

The man thought for a bit and said, "Well, my wife has been making a lot of eggs benedict recently with hollandaise sauce."

"Ah!" exclaimed the dentist, "That's it. I know just what you need. I'm going to order you some new dentures with plates made out of chrome."

"Chrome?" exclaimed the man incredulously, "Why Chrome?"

"Because, There's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise"

("There's no place like home for the holidays")