Category: Quotes Jokes



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Ranking: 2.89 / 35
The Real Meaning of Hotel slogans

Old world charm ................................. No bath
Options galore ................................... Nothing is included in the itinerary
No extra fees ..................................... No extras
Nominal fee ....................................... Outrageous charge
Standard ........................................... Sub-standard
Deluxe .............................................. Standard
Superior ............................................ One free shower cap
Cozy ................................................. Small
All the amenities ................................ Two free shower caps
Plush ................................................ Top and bottom sheets
#993    
Thanks to: Ogden Pence
rec.:Apr/8/2001    pub.:Apr/8/2001    sent:Apr/8/2001


Ranking: 2.81 / 32
1. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
2. A few beers short of a six-pack.
3. Dumber than a box of hair.
4. A few peas short of a casserole.
5. Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one bowl.
6. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
7. One taco short of a combination plate.
8. Cranially challenged.
9. All foam no beer.
10. The cheese slid off of his cracker.
#920    
Thanks to: Falana Johnson
rec.:Jan/15/2001    pub.:Jan/15/2001    sent:Jan/15/2001


Ranking: 2.69 / 35
"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman)

- "Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman)

- "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." (Murray Walker)

- After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought." (Bobby Robson)

- On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country." (Ian Rush)

- "I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." (Frank Bruno)

- "There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people." (David Coleman)

- "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker)
#13619    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2004    pub.:Jun/22/2004    sent:Jul/14/2004


Ranking: 2.89 / 27
He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED..
He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

#918    
Thanks to: Jennifer Gardner
rec.:Jan/13/2001    pub.:Jan/13/2001    sent:Jan/13/2001


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