Category: Quotes Jokes

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Ranking: 2.84 / 19
Bumper sticker seen on a little gray truck in Arkansas:
This daughter protected by Double 0 Buckshot!!!
Thanks to: J Vaughn Charleston - AR - USA.
rec.:Oct/23/1999    pub.:Oct/23/1999    sent:Oct/23/1999

Ranking: 3.00 / 16
Everyone needs a time-out now and then.

10. It takes 10 minutes to scroll through your bookmarks.
9. You find yourself racking your brain for new search subjects.
8. Instead of going to the bathroom, you "download."
7. You'll only go on vacation if there's electricity, a phone line and a local dial-up number for your ISP.
6. You go on vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem.
5. You find yourself typing .com after every period when using a word
4. You wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
3. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
2. You check your e-mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
And the top sign you're addicted to the Internet ...
1. You chose the location of your next home based on whether there's a high-speed broadband connection available.
Thanks to: Ophelia Prestipino
rec.:Mar/27/2001    pub.:Mar/27/2001    sent:Mar/27/2001

Ranking: 2.59 / 22
FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive.
FLORIDA: If you don't like the way we count then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.
FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, Re-vote.
FLORIDA: This is what you get for taking Elian away from us.
FLORIDA: We don't just cheat in football.
FLORIDA: Once is never enough!
FLORIDA: Don't blame me, I voted for Gore, I think.
FLORIDA: Don't blame me, my vote didn't count.
Thanks to: Mark Oberholz - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Jan/3/2001    pub.:Jan/3/2001    sent:Jan/3/2001

Ranking: 2.36 / 28
"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too."
"Just leave all the lights makes the house look more cheery."
"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week."
"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day."
"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
"I don't have a tissue with me...just use your sleeve."
"Don't bother wearing a jacket -- the wind-chill is bound to improve."
"Sure you can go joyriding with Evan. He's only had one major accident."
"Don't bother cleaning your room, I bought a second set of dishes."
Thanks to: Curt Repsis
rec.:May/17/1999    pub.:May/17/1999    sent:May/17/1999

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