There is a guy who wants to go ice fishing, so he goes to the ice and cuts a hole in it.
He hears, "THERE ARE NO FISH IN HERE."
He leaves and goes to another spot on the ice.
He hears, "THERE ARE NO FISH IN HERE."
Baffled, the guy asks, "Is this God?"
The voice responds, "No, this is the announcer!"
#845
Thanks to:
Anonymous
rec.:Oct/10/2000 pub.:Oct/10/2000 sent:Oct/10/2000
Ranking:
2.27 / 41
The National Football League recently announced a new era. From now on, no offensive team names will be permitted. While the owners of the team rush to change uniforms and such, the National Football League announced, yesterday, its name changes and schedules for the '99 season:
The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on opening day. Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Wild Endangered Species, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.
In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey.
The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9. And the Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago Large Mountain Mammals.
Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the New England Zealous Lovers of Country.
#499
Thanks to:
Walter Smith
rec.:Nov/14/1999 pub.:Nov/14/1999 sent:Nov/14/1999
Ranking:
2.24 / 41
Are you my caddie? asked the golfer.
"Yes, sir," replied the lad.
"And you are good at finding lost balls?"
"Yes, sir."
"Right then. Find one and let's star the game."
#5272
Thanks to:
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/10/2002 pub.:Jul/10/2002
Ranking:
2.02 / 54
My bother is a professional boxer.”
“Heavyweight?”
“No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death.”
#13301
Thanks to:
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2004 pub.:Apr/26/2004 sent:Aug/27/2005