Two golfers met at the club. "I heard about your terrible tragedy last week," said one.
"Yes," said the other sadly, sipping his drink. "I was playing a two-some with Winthrop, and he dropped dead on the ninth hole."
"I understand you carried him all the way back to the clubhouse too," the first man said sympathetically. "That must have been very difficult, considering Winthrop weighed over two hundred and fifty pounds."
"The carrying wasn't that hard. It was putting him down at every stroke, then picking him up again that wore me out."
#952
Thanks to:
David Piscotti
rec.:Feb/16/2001 pub.:Feb/16/2001 sent:Oct/12/2011
Ranking:
3.10 / 135
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards.”
#6324
Thanks to:
Haley - Nine Mile Falls - WA - USA.
rec.:Oct/24/2002 pub.:Jan/27/2003 sent:May/20/2009
Ranking:
3.45 / 76
A guy took his girl friend to her first Longhorn football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied,
"Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: get the quarterback. Get the quarterback! It’s only 25 cents!
#14894
Thanks to:
Amanda - Lubbock - TX - USA.
rec.:Mar/16/2005 pub.:Apr/4/2005 sent:Sep/6/2005
Ranking:
3.58 / 64
4 baseball fans want to show their teams that they're each the biggest fans in the world, so they decide to climb the biggest mountain they can find. The first one to the top is a Braves fan, and he says, "I'm the biggest fan in the world! This is for you Braves!" and he jumps off. The second one to the top is a Mets fan and he says, "I love you more than anything Mets, this is for you!" and he jumps off. The last 2 people who get to the top get there at the same time. One is a Red Sox fan and one is a Yankee fan. When they're both standing at the top together, the Red Sox fan says, "This on is for all baseball fans everywhere!" And the Red Sox fan pushes the Yankee fan off.
#579
Thanks to:
Caly Elias - Springfield - MA - USA.
rec.:Feb/8/2000 pub.:Feb/8/2000 sent:Feb/8/2000